


GETTING MY OWN WAY TIME

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-08
Updated: 2007-04-08
Packaged: 2019-02-05 16:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12798543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Jack doesn’t show for the Nov. meeting.  Ennis waits several months then drives down to Childress to find out why.





	GETTING MY OWN WAY TIME

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Title: GETTING MY OWN WAY TIME 

Author: dmcintoshtx@yahoo.com

Fandom: Brokeback Mountain

Rating: NC-17 FRAO

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx. I make no money off them.

Summary: Jack doesn’t show for the Nov. meeting. Ennis waits several months then drives down to Childress to find out why.

 

GETTING MY OWN WAY TIME

 

Ennis sat on the edge of his bed and wept. Great soul-rending sobs shook him. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. His heart was breaking and he didn’t know how to fix things. Jack didn’t show. He’d sat there in his truck at their meeting place for three days; smoking, pacing round the area; waiting. 

He had thought when he hadn’t gotten a postcard confirming their November 7th meeting that it had just gotten lost in the mail. He came on up to their spot anyway; and sat, and waited.

When dawn broke, after his third night sitting there, he crushed out his last cigarette and left. It was a lonesome drive home. The worst he had even known. Jack didn’t come. Jack probably wouldn’t ever come again. He was alone again; alone.

He went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face; got a glimpse of himself in the mirror and was shocked by what he saw. He saw an old man looking back at him; an old man with dead eyes; empty, no soul. Jack was gone; wasn’t coming back.

He showered and got ready for work; another day ahead, another week, year. What did it matter? Jack was gone. 

One day melted into the next and before he knew it, there were Christmas decorations all over town and it was snowing heavily. What difference did it make to him? Jack was gone. Before he knew it, it was January. Everyone was wishing each other a Happy New Year. All their cheerfulness made him want to vomit! 

Another year! A year to celebrate; or to mourn? His heart ached, his head ached and all he wanted to do was get to the liquor store and get his weekly case of beer and go home and drink another weekend away. He hoped he could do that without one more person wishing him a Happy New Year. He was sick of it. Sick of hearing about it; thinking about it. He just wanted it over with so he could go back to being ignored by everybody instead of everyone trying to cheer him up. 

“The least he coulda done was told me he wasn’t comin back.” He threw the empty beer bottle at the trash can; turning it over and spilling everything on the floor. Tears slid down his cheeks as he turned over and tried to sleep. He rolled a pillow up and clung to it; trying to remember what it was like holding Jack in his arms as they fell asleep together in a tent. It was so good! Why didn’t he come back? I thought he……what?

“What did I think?” He sat back up in bed, rubbing his bleary eyes. “Did I really think he would just keep coming back no matter how many times I hurt him?” 

He took the bottle of whiskey down and opened it. Raised it to his lips then sat it back down and recapped it. He didn’t want whiskey; he wanted Jack! Jack had no right to do this to him! He needed him! Jack had no right at all, just to be gone!

February came and with it. his last trip to Alma’s house with a check. Jenny was 18 now and moving on with plans to take some training in Casper to become a flight attendant.

His girls were grown now and didn’t need his financial support any longer. No one needed him at all; nobody wanted him. Jack sure didn’t!

Seemed to him it had been like that all his life. Back home, he was just an extra mouth to feed. He did make up for that though by working extra hard; earning his keep. His Pa taught him that. A man earned his keep. A man didn’t make problems for others and a man sure as hell didn’t embarrass his family or shame them.

Then, all of the sudden, they were both gone; his Ma and Pa; and he was left with just his brother and sister. In no time flat, sister was married and gone and a few years later,

so was K.E. and he was alone and on his own. He worked hard to be a man. To be the kind of man his folks would be proud of. Something in his gut told him he’d never make that happen no matter how hard he worked.

He had tried to make things right by marring Alma, having babies of his own; being a family. But that didn’t work either. Alma loved him for a little while; maybe a year or so. Soon as the babies started coming; she wasn’t so happy any more being a ranch-hand’s wife. Looking back on it now, he was surprised it lasted as long as it did. He surely did love his girls though and he could tell they loved him but they were grown now and starting out on lives of their own; didn’t need him no more.

Only person that ever really did need him was Jack. Jack needed him and wanted him but that could never be; wasn’t right. What Jack wanted would just get them both killed. He wasn’t having none of that! He wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to do with the rest of his life; but he sure wasn’t ready to be dead yet.

He guessed that was why Jack hadn’t shown. They had had a terrible fight; said some painful things to each other but he thought they had settled it before he had driven off. Last thing they said to each other was “See you in November.” But November had come and gone and there was no Jack.

“Maybe he didn’t get the postcard? Maybe he thinks I’m mad at him? Maybe Lureen found the postcard and tore it up? Didn’t give it to him? Maybe it got lost?”

“Or maybe Jack found someone else? Someone who was dumb enough to risk livin out in the open like they thought it was alright for two fellas livin together! Jack said he’d been to Mexico. There’s only one reason he’d go there. And if he was gettin it there, he’d probably be gettin it in Texas too! Damn fool. Gonna get himself killed.”

“Fuckin Jack Twist!”

 

March came and went and it was 10 months since they’d seen each other. “What the hell was that matter with that son of a bitch?!” He cursed as he pulled the page off the calendar. “Almost a full God-damned year!”

The snow had all but melted; just a few stubborn patches of white clinging here and there. Spring was here, and still no word from Jack. Maybe he’d never hear from Jack again. “Probably already bought himself that little cow/calf place he’s always wanted. Probably working it with some asshole Texan who didn’t know shit from shinola ‘bout ranchin; probably just gave good head is all. Jack always did like that a lot. Course, a man’d have to be dead not to like that.” Only thoughts of Jack kept him company. He was alone. Jack didn’t come back.

 

April came and with it the worst cold he’d ever had in his life. Couldn’t get rid of the cough and along with that came the sore throat and head-ache. He spent most of April coughing and hacking. Didn’t really matter though; it’s not like he had anything else to do. The weather was fine now. All the cows were calving; everything was coming back to life; every thing but him. He was dead inside. Nothing would bring him back to life but Jack and Jack was gone. Jack wasn’t coming back.

 

May was here but Jack wasn’t. Hell, that didn’t mean he couldn’t go fishin! He loaded up his gear and headed out. He had been so used to taking that first week in May off, he just did it anyway. He drove on out to their favorite spot, parked and got out. He stood there by the lake and remembered the last time they had been there. That had been so long ago and yet it seemed like he could still hear Jack’s voice. “Sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.” That had been a good memory right after that. They had gone into Jack’s fancy new tent and made sweet love that went on and on; seemed like for ever. Then the morning came and brought the good-bye time. That was always the worst for them. Neither one would ever say the words. They never had. Not even that first year when they came down off that mountain. It was never good-bye. It was always, “See you around” or “See you in August or November”, but Jack didn’t come in November. Jack didn’t come back.

He set a small campfire and sat on the log they had pulled up to the fire-pit several years before. It was still there. Just like the mountains and the trees and the lake. They were still there. Everything was where it was supposed to be except Jack.

“Guess he finally figured out how to quit me.” His voice choked on the words but he couldn’t deny the truth in them. He made coffee and sat staring into the fire. He was alone. Guess that was the way it was supposed to be for him. Couldn’t understand what he had done in his life that was so bad that he had to pay for it by being alone for the rest of his days. He tried to figure things out; didn’t really know how to go about it. “What did I do wrong, Jack? Why didn’t you come back?” he asked the emptiness all around him.

“I tried to make you understand from the beginin that we couldn’t be together like you wanted. You knew that.” “You never could accept things like they was; you always had to go and try to change things. Some things you just can’t change, Jack.”

He stood and stretched his back; walked over to the lakeside. “You said I didn’t know how bad it gets. Well I sure as hell do now, don’t I, Jack Fuckin Twist?” He tossed his cigarette butt into the water and watched it float away.

“Sure hope your Texas friend carries a gun and knows how to use it. He’s gonna need it if he’s hangin ‘round with you!”

 

He busied himself setting up the small tent he had purchased; wasn’t much bigger than that first one they had up on Brokeback. It was near dark when he finished so he just opened up his bedroll and lay down. Sleep was nowhere to be found that night; nothing in that little tent to keep him company but regrets. 

If they could only have found a place like this; someplace where they wouldn’t have to see no one and no one could see them. He could just hear Jack’s answer to that. “I ain’t hidin out like some criminal?” He was right about that, Ennis had to admit. What they was doin wasn’t against the law, exactly; folks just didn’t approve; didn’t like it. Hell, that’s cause they never been with Jack Twist! 

He wondered if Jack ever thought about him; if he missed him. “Probably didn’t. Probably got his dick in some Texas ass and don’t even remember he belongs in Wyoming! “

“You belong to me, Jack Twist! You belong up here where you was borned and not down in Texas livin with city folks and wearin them fancy clothes.” He muttered. 

He dozed a little but wished he hadn’t. He awoke sobbing, dreaming of Jack smiling and laughing and holding some Texas man. 

He got up and dug through his supplies and pulled out a bottle of Old Rose. He opened it and took a long drink. It burned down his throat and it felt good. He recapped the bottle and put it back. He stood staring out over the lake; watching it shimmer in the moonlight. 

“Why didn’t you come back, Jack? I need you.” Tears slid down his cheek. “Jack….Jack….” He whispered into the darkness.

 

Dawn came and found him sitting on the log; staring into the ashes of a long dead fire. He was chilled to the bone but he didn’t care; didn’t even feel it.

“Shoulda done things different, Jack. Maybe you’d be here with me. Maybe you’d still want me.” He added some fresh wood to the pit and lit it. He needed coffee. He waited for the fire to start up; warming his hands over the little blaze. “Guess it’s gonna be like this from now on; being alone. No Jack to look forward to; never feelin those things again. No Jack holdin him, kissing him, stealin his very breath away. No Jack in him, or under him, or beside him to fall asleep against. All those things were gone with Jack.

 

He put the coffee on to heat. “Hope that Texas man can protect you, Jack. Keep you safe.” He stood up and paced around the clearing. He stopped by his truck and leaned back against it; hands jammed down in his jacket pocket; hat snugged down on his head so the wind wouldn’t take it. He stared down at his boots. “Shoulda done things different; shoulda made more time for you, Bud.” He wiped the tears with the back of his hand and shoved it back into his pocket. “Ain’t nobody can live seein the person they need just a coupla times a year. It ain’t right. People got no reason to keep others apart, what need to be together! Ain’t none of their business anyway.” A memory flitted back into him mind of Jack saying “It’s nobody’s business but ours.” He was so right! Ennis thought. “Jack knew what he was talking ‘bout. It ain’t nobody’s business but those involved.” 

“Wish I had done things different; made you come to know how much I need you. Wish I had said all them words I’d been thinking but was too afraid to say; too afraid it would make me queer. Hell, Jack, we can’t deny it no longer; we are queer. And what the hell is so bad about that? Ain’t like we’re killin babies or something! Just one man lovin another, is all. Don’t see nothing wrong with that. How can anything so good be wrong? Don’t make no sense to me.” He walked back over to the fire and poured some of the steaming coffee into an old enamel cup and sipped it.

“Maybe I’ll send him another postcard. No a letter. Hell, I ain’t no good at writing letters. I need to see him. Tell him how I feel. Tell him I love him, cause I do. And I surely do want him to know that. Thought maybe he already did, but I guess not or he’d be here.”

“Hell, why would he want to be here; just to see me a coupla days then drive 14 hours back home and do without for months; when he can get it whenever he wants right there in Texas? That ain’t no kinda life. Not for my Jack. He needs more.” (I’m not you, Ennis. I can’t make it on a coupla high-altitude fucks once or twice a year.) He could hear the words like they were just now being shouted at him.

 

He bent his head and held it between his hands; elbows propped on knees. This was wrong! Everything was just wrong! He was here in their place alone and miserable and Jack was off in Texas with God knows what for company. He had to do something about this. He had to fix this. There was no standing this one.

 

He broke camp, got back into his truck and drove back to Riverton. He stopped at the bank and drew out all his savings; all $373 of it. He went home and threw some passable clean clothes into a bag, filled a paper sack with some groceries and headed out. It was dark before he stopped and fixed himself a couple peanut butter sandwiches. He gassed up and got back on the highway heading south. He stopped at dawn in a road-side rest stop and got a few hours sleep. His mind was all a muddle; and he didn’t exactly know what he was going to do or say; but he was going to find out where he stood; if Jack was lost to him for good or if there was still a chance for him. He had to know; one way or the other.

 

It was mid morning when he pulled into Childress. He had planned to ask at a gas station for the Newsome Farm Equipment place but it wasn’t necessary. There was the big sign, announcing it’s presence as soon as he drove into town. He pulled right into the lot and sat looking around. He began planning what to say; practicing different speeches. They all seemed lame to him, when he heard a familiar laughter. There he was, Jack Twist was getting out of a pickup truck with some guy and they were walkin into the dealership offices. Jack turned back at the doorway and tossed his cigarette out into the parking lot and looked up and saw him. The grin left his face and he called something back into the building. He walked directly across the parking lot to Ennis’ truck.

 

“What’re you doin here?” He asked through the rolled down window.

“Thought maybe we could talk?”

“Thought we said everything that needed sayin.”

“Nope; got lots more to say; stuff we should have said long ago.”

“It don’t really make no difference anymore, does it? You got your life in Riverton and I got my life here in Childress.”

“That you’re life now?” Ennis nodded toward the building and the window where someone was looking out at them. 

“It is or it isn’t. Don’t really matter.”

Ennis got out of the truck then and stood before him; only inches apart.

“It matters to me.”

“Can’t see how.”

“Could we go somewhere, maybe have lunch?”

“Already got plans for lunch.”

“OK. Guess this here parkin lot will have to do then.” Ennis said, looking around. No one was within earshot of their position.

“I come all this way to tell you something. You was right. I was wrong. Don’t know if it matters to you any more or not, but I need to say a few things. First of all, I love you. I know we ain’t never said those words before, but it’s true, Jack.” He chewed on a thumb nail. “I know I’m queer. We both are. Don’t know why I couldn’t accept that before. Just didn’t want to be something that everybody hated, I guess; something that might get us both killed. Don’t matter any more though. I am what I am and I ain’t apologizin for it.”

Jack turned away but stayed where he was.

“I was scared, Jack. Still am. But I can’t face livin the rest of my life without you in it. If you still wanna try, this… livin together thing, well, I’d like to try it too.”

“You don’t mean that!” Jack turned back to him, hands on hips. “You don’t mean a word of what you just said.”

“Wouldn’t a come all this way if I didn’t.”

“You came all this way to check up on me; to see who I was with; why I didn’t meet you in November.”

“I came all this way to tell you that you were right. We belong together.”

Jack just stared at him.

“I done a lot of thinking; a lot of bein alone. I can’t stand what’s happened between us and I want us to fix it. We can’t do that if you’re down here and I’m up in Wyomin.”

“And just how do you figure we can fix this?”

“I figure you still care for me. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be lookin at me with such anger in your eyes. You’re angry with me and you got a right to be. I done you wrong, Jack; lots of times over the years and I’m sorry ‘bout that. You can believe this or not, but it hurt me each time I saw the pain I caused you. Hurt me bad to do you that way. I thought I was doing the right thing; but all I did was hurt the both of us. I ain’t gonna be doin no more of that.”

“Shit, Ennis. How you gonna stop yourself? You cringe every time you think someone’s seein us together.”

“I know. I ain’t sayin I won’t still be scared. I am and I won’t deny that. What I’m sayin is that I’d like us to be together. We could maybe, keep a low profile. Go into town, one at a time, maybe. Hell, Jack. I don’t know all the answers. I just know I want to try. I wanna see if we could pull this off. I guess, the thought of never seein you again; thinkin ‘bout you livin with somebody else; makes me all kinda sick inside.”

Jack leaned back against the truck, crossing his arms and staring down at the pavement.

“You mean more to me than I have got words to tell you, Bud. You always have. Ever since ’63, you ain’t been outta my thoughts or outta my head. You always been there, Jack, ever since I knowed you.” Ennis peered out from under his hat brim.

“I love you, Jack.” It was barely a whisper. “I need you. I guess the fear of losing you is more real now than the fear of the tire irons. Hell, tire irons couldn’t be as bad as these last months have been.” He caught a tear that slid down his cheek, with a shrug of his shoulder.

“I wish I could believe all this Ennis.” Jack said; voice choking with emotion.

“What I gotta do to make you believe me? Tell me. I’ll do it.”

“You’ll go away with me? You’d leave Riverton?”

“Yes. I already left Riverton and came here, didn’t I? You wanna live here in Texas? I’ll do that too; whatever you want.”

“Hell no! I don’t wanna live here. I wanna live in Wyomin; where I belong.”

“Get your stuff then and lets head on back to Wyomin. Find us a place to live.”

“What about your girls?” Jack had to ask.

“They’re all growd now. Junior’s all married and havin a baby of her own soon. Jenny is movin to Casper to take some trainin. She wants to be a stewardess. I stood by them while they were babies and needed me. They are off on their own now and I ain’t got nobody needin me anymore; ‘cept maybe you?”

Jack chuckled and shook his head.

“You telling me I can have you full-time? Really, true to life, livin together?”

“I admit, I ain’t the man I was when you first asked me, all those years ago; but if you want what’s left of me; what’s left of my life is yours for the takin, if you want it.”

“Ennis Del Mar, you are too much!” He took his hat off, rubbed his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt and put the hat back on. He stood there, thumbs hooked into his belt loops; staring at Ennis.

“You comin with me? Or you stayin? Your friend there is getting a bit antsy.” He nodded towards the office. The door was open now and the guy Jack had ridden in with was standing there staring at them.

“You expect me to give up everything I got goin for me here and just run off with you?”

“Uh huh. Ain’t that what you been askin me to do for all these years? It ain’t the easiest thing in the world to do, is it?” He looked from Jack to the guy at the office and back to Jack again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the guy start over in their direction.

“Better make up your mind. Here comes trouble.” Ennis got back into his truck, not wanting any confrontations here at Jack’s place of work.

“Everything alright, Jack?” The guy asked.

“Yeah, Benny; everythin’s just fine. Gonna have to cancel lunch though.”

Benny looked from Jack to Ennis and back to Jack again.

“Could be trouble.” He warned Jack; eyes going up to Ennis and back.

“No. No trouble here.” Jack did not introduce him and Ennis made no efforts to introduce himself; just sat there staring straight out the front windshield.

“See you later on then.” Benny said, heading back towards the office.

Jack walked back with him; head down talking. Ennis couldn’t hear what was being said but he could tell by the look on Benny’s face, when they stopped a few feet from the door; that he was not happy with what he was hearing. He looked back towards Ennis, glaring. He was arguing with Jack.

Ennis wondered what they were saying but, at this point, he was beyond caring. He just wanted to grab Jack and get on back to Wyoming and whatever waited for them there.

Jack walked on inside the building with Benny and for a moment, Ennis thought his heart might pound its way out of his chest. He gripped the steering wheel and waited. Something he was never very good at. But he did it. He waited. And he waited. 10 then 15 minutes passed before the door opened and Jack walked out, setting his hat firmly on his head. He walked over to Ennis’ truck, to the passenger side, and got in.

“You give me a ride? My truck’s down the street getting new set of tires put on. I just called them and they said it’s ready.”

“Sure enough.” Ennis answered; started the truck and pulled out. Jack pointed out the place about a block down the road. He drove up and parked in the space beside Jack’s truck. 

“Be right back.” Jack said and hopped out and went in. He came out a few minutes later, receipt in hand and motioned for Ennis to follow him. They drove out of the lot and over to the residential part of town. Beautiful homes lined the streets with landscaped lawns; each one more beautiful than the next. Jack pulled into the circular driveway of the grandest home of all and Ennis followed. Jack got out and walked round to Ennis’ truck.

“C’mon in.”

“This your place? Shit, Jack. I knew you had money but didn’t know you was rich!” He got out of his truck and gazed at the house in awe. “I should probably just wait out here.”

“Come on in; nobody’s home. They’re out of town till tomorrow. We’ll be long gone by then.” He grinned at Ennis, all nervous as a kitten.

Ennis lowered his head, and looked around to see if any neighbors were watching them. There was no one he could see anywhere on the block; just one old man mowing a lawn three houses down across the street and was paying them no mind.

Ennis shoved his hands deep in his jacket pockets, head pulled down; and followed Jack into the house.

Once inside, with the door closed behind then, Jack seized him. Pulled Ennis’ face to his for a kiss he had waited 20 years for. Ennis held on for dear life, breathing in Jack Twist again.

“You mean to do this, Ennis? You really gonna come live with me?” Jack wet his lips, tongue lingering in the corner of his mouth.

“You kiss me like that, you gotta know everythin is still in place between us. Nothin never has changed ‘bout that; never will.”

“OK then. C’mon upstairs and help me pack. Jack took the stairs two at a time, afraid if he didn’t hurry Ennis might change his mind. Ennis followed him up just as fast.

Jack began throwing things into his sports bag until he couldn’t get another thing in. He yanked off his fancy boots, western shirt, designer jeans and put on an old pair of worn jeans, denim shirt and comfortable old boots. He picked his wallet up from the dresser and emptied out about twenty credit cards. He sorted out three of them and put them back in.

“Won’t be needin them no more.” He grabbed up an old jeans jacket, his bag and started down stairs. They stopped in the den and Jack sat down at the desk. He pulled out the bottom drawer and worked the combination lock. He lifted the top and pulled out a briefcase. He opened it and turned it for Ennis to see. It was complete full of money!

“What the hell you do? Rob a bank?” Ennis asked, picking up a stack of bills.

“Nope. Been preparin for this day for the last 17 years! This is just the cash I got saved up, got lots more in the bank; half in an account here and the other half in Lightning Flat.”

“Where’d you get all this?”

“Some was left to me by Lureen’s Grandma when she died about 12 years ago now. She liked me. Only one of Lureen’s relatives gave a damn ‘bout me. Left me a nice chunk of cash and left Lureen this house and enough cash so’s neither she nor Bobby will ever have to work a day in their lives if they don’t want to. I been savin most of my paychecks and all my bonuses that I get every year; just hopin I’d get the chance to start lookin for that place we talked about.”

“Alls I got is ‘bout $300 cash and my trailer; my two horses. I ain’t really pullin my fair share of the load here.” Ennis dumped the money back into the briefcase.

“Money won’t be a problem for us, Ennis. We got plenty. You got all the knowledge in your head ‘bout how to run a ranch. You know about the animals and the day to day running of a place that I never did. I got the business experience now, to know how to make the most of whatever we decide on. Let’s get ourselves back to Wyomin and we can work out the details when we get there. OK?”

“Sounds good to me.”

 

Jack scribbled a quick note to Lureen and left it in a sealed envelope on the desk; tossed his bag to Ennis, grabbed up his jacket and briefcase and they were off.

First stop they made was to a machine shop and had a tow bar hooked on the front of Ennis’ truck and a hitch on the rear of Jack’s truck. That way they could make the trip in Jack’s truck.

“This’s a long drive.” Ennis commented.

“Tell me about it! I made it enough times!”

“Jack, I’m sorry ‘bout that. Sorry as can be.”

“Don’t matter no more. Not if you’re really gonna do this?”

“I’m doin it. Ain’t changin my mind.”

“We won’t be able to make it all the way back tonight. We can stop at a motel somewhere along the way; catch some sleep.” Jack offered.

“Sounds good. We can stop any time you want, for anything you want.” Ennis agreed.

“You ain’t gonna agree with me like this all the time, are you?” Jack raised an eyebrow at him.

“Nope. Enjoy it while it lasts.” Ennis grinned at him.

“That’s what I was thinkin.”

 

“What about your job? And your friend back there? He give you any trouble?”

“Nah; nothin that wasn’t easily handled. And I quit that job. It’s something I’ve been wantin to do for years. At first I hated it because it was workin for Lureen’s old man. Then I found out I was a pretty good salesman; started bringin in more commissions than he did. Made him madder than hell! That made me try all the harder. That’s how I ended up with all that cash. Most of that was bonuses for sellin most in the district. That honor used to go to the old man and I took it away from him. First year that happened, we was at the awards banquet and they called my name instead of his and his face turned purple; swear to God, Ennis, thought he was gonna pop a vein or something.”

They had a good laugh over that.

 

“Ennis; swear to me. Swear you’re not gonna run out on me?” Jack turned serious.

“I can swear that to you easy, Jack. I know what it’s like livin without you now. Can’t take no more of that! Don’t care no more what people think. They wanna come after me for lovin you, then let them come. I won’t go down without a fight and I’m gonna be keeping an eye on you too. You’re the one with the big smile and the big mouth. You gotta swear to me you’ll be more careful. We can’t take no stupid chances. No foolin ‘round where people might see us.”

“I can agree with that. As far as anyone is concerned, we’re just two divorced buddies, goin in on a ranch together.”

“You’re doin most of the ‘goin in’. I ain’t got much to put up for this deal.”

“It’s gonna be 50-50 all the way Ennis. I got the money and the business experience. You got the knowledge and ranching experience to make it happen. Couldn’t be doin it without your help.” Jack reached a hand over and caressed the side of Ennis’ neck.

Ennis dipped his head down and rubbed his cheek against Jack’s hand.

“Bein with you is all that matters, Bud. The only thing that matters.”

 

Jack pulled into the next motel and stopped. “Think we need to get a room now, Cowboy.”

“It’s barely past noon. We got a lotta daylight ahead of us.”

“I thought maybe we’d still be in the ‘gettin my own way’ time?” Jack smiled that smile at Ennis and he got his own way.

 

It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon and they lay spooned together, arms and legs entwined.

“Got at least four hours of daylight left. We could get a lot further on down the road.” Ennis said; pulling the arm tight that lay across his chest.

“Uh huh. Or we could just lay like this; not move a muscle.”

“You’re call. It’s still ‘getting your own way time’.”

“Good. We can go out after while and get somethin to eat. There’s a truck stop down the road a bit.”

“Leave after dinner then?”

“Nah. Tomorrow is early enough. Got better plans for tonight. Don’t wanna waste any of my ‘getting my own way time’. I gotta feelin it ain’t gonna last much longer.”

“You’re right ‘bout that. You can only ride this thing so far.” Ennis nuzzled kisses against Jack’s forehead.

“Figured I’d ride it just till we get back home.”

“Home.” Ennis repeated the word like it was a blessing. I ain’t had a real home since the folks passed. Alma and me; we never had a home; just places we stayed. None of ‘em could be called a home.”

“Ours will be, Cowboy. I already got the plans for it.”

“What?”

“They got these cabin kits. You order one and then they come put it up on whatever lot you want it on; or they deliver it and you can put it together by your self.”

“You’re telling me you can pick a place out of a catalogue?”

“That’s right. And I’ve got a bunch of catalogues showin the different models available; got them up in my room in Lightnin Flat, in a closet. Got something else in that closet to show you too.”

“You got a gun? We’re gonna need a coupla guns. We gotta be ready in case trouble comes.”

“No, I don’t have a gun. But we can get guns if that will make you feel safer. You can teach me how to shoot.”

They were silent for a time.

“You asleep, Bud?”

“Aaahh don’t think so.” Jack answered sleepily.

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“It’s OK, me sayin that once in a while?”

“You can say it anytime you want, Cowboy.”

“Does that make me queer?”

“ha ha ha. That ain’t what makes you queer.”

“What makes me queer then, Jack Twist?”

“I’ll show you in the morning. Right now it’s time for sleep.”

“OK. Night.”

“Night.”

 

The End


End file.
